Embrace you True Career Path: Overcoming Self-Doubt and letting go of "Supposed-To"

Have you ever felt that nagging voice telling you that your career choices haven't been spectacular? Or perhaps you've struggled with the weight of expectations—what you "should" do with your professional life? Is it time to embrace your true Career Path?

My Career Change Journey

When I reflect on my own career transitions, I can clearly see how different both were. In my 20s, changing direction felt exciting and full of possibilities. By my 40s, it became a much more challenging landscape to navigate—filled with established identities, responsibilities, and deeper layers of self-doubt.

Throughout these transitions, I've utilised various tools to guide me: desire mapping, understanding the four tendencies, and numerous other frameworks that provided clarity. But one of my most unexpected breakthroughs came about ten years ago when I discovered Brené Brown's work.

The Guideposts to Wholehearted Living

While participating in an online course based on Brené's book "The Gifts of Imperfection," I found myself particularly drawn to guidepost #9: "Cultivating Meaningful Work: How to Let Go of Self-Doubt and 'Supposed-To'"

This chapter explores how meaningful work contributes to a fulfilling life—something at the heart of living wholeheartedly. Through Brené's extensive research on shame and wholehearted living, she discovered that people consistently mentioned several elements when discussing meaningful work:

• Gifts and talents

• Spirituality

• Making a living

• Commitment

• Supposed-to's

• Self-doubt

What Blocks Us from a Meaningful Career Path?

The Voice of Self-Doubt

Brené suggests that our inner gremlins (or saboteurs) feed our self-doubt with taunts like:

"Maybe everyone has special gifts... except for you. Maybe that's why you haven't found them yet."

"Yes, you do that well, but that's not really a gift. It's not big enough or important enough to be a real talent."

These voices systematically undermine the process of discovering our gifts and sharing them with the world.

The Tyranny of "Supposed-To"

Our saboteurs also leverage "supposed-to" messages that are often motivated by:

• Conforming

• Striving for perfection

• Seeking approval

• Demonstrating our worth

Do any of these sound familiar?

"The focus should be on earning money, not finding meaning."

"You're expected to mature and become a _____. Everyone is relying on that."

"Work is meant to be disliked; that's what work is all about!"

"You have to decide between doing work you enjoy OR work that provides for your loved ones."

Reclaiming Your Power

According to Brené, to overcome self-doubt and "supposed-to" thinking, we need to start owning these messages:

1. Identify what makes you afraid

2. Examine your "supposed-to" list

3. Question who says these things and why

Ignoring our saboteurs is like ignoring toddlers—they only get louder! Instead, acknowledge the messages by writing them down. This simple act gives us more power and the opportunity to say:

"I get it. I see that I'm afraid of this, but I'm going to do it anyway."

DIG DEEP for Meaningful Work

This is exactly what I guide clients through in my Career Change Coaching program. We need to get deliberate about what meaningful work actually means to us personally.

There's no universal definition of meaningful work that applies to everyone. You need to write down your own criteria by finishing this sentence:

"I want my work to be..."

Use words that can serve as filters for making decisions about:

• What you do

• What you commit to

• How you spend your time

Your Next Steps Forward

From today, you can begin this transformative process by:

1. Identifying the messages from your saboteurs related to self-doubt and obligations

2. Challenging and dismissing them

3. Clarifying what meaningful work means for you using precise words and criteria

These activities are works in progress—continue to add to and refine what emerges. Both will help you move forward in your pursuit of meaningful work that's truly aligned with who you are.

Remember, as Brené Brown's research shows, letting go of self-doubt and societal expectations leads to a more authentic and meaningful life. That breakthrough worked for me ten years ago, and it can do the same for you today. Until Next time.... Binny

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Transforming teams via tailor-made coaching programs  Work is being reimagined... The question isn’t if change is coming—it’s how you’ll navigate it. The future is yours to define.

That’s where I come in. Through a powerful blend of Strengths, Executive, and Career Coaching, I help professionals not just adapt, but thrive.

The workplace is transforming.

With 59% of employees quietly disengaged and 18% actively seeking an exit (Gallup, 2023), job dissatisfaction is at an all-time high.

You already have unique talents—sometimes, they just need to be uncovered.

With the right coaching, skills and knowledge you can turn those talents into strengths, fueling the confidence to embrace career shifts and workplace change with clarity and purpose.

Empowering you to design your work future.

I’m Binny Langler, your lead coach, dedicated to helping individuals and teams thrive. Founder & Director of The Inkling Effect, with over 20 years of experience coaching professionals to discover and apply their unique strengths to create more

fulfilling and meaningful work.

A certified Executive, Gallup Global Strengths Coach & Career Change Coach - with a Masters of Entrepreneurship & Innovation.